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The beginning is the end, and the end is the beginning.

Here’s a wonderful, wonderful devotion from My Utmost.

The Missionary’s Goal

In the natural life our ambitions alter as we develop; in the Christian life the goal is given at the beginning, the beginning and the end are the same, viz., Our Lord Himself. We start with Christ and we end with Him — until we all attain (RV) to the stature of the manhood of Christ Jesus, not to our idea of what the Christian life should be.

The aim of the missionary is to do God’s will, not to be useful, not to win the heathen; he is useful and he does win the heathen, but that is not his aim. His aim is to do the will of his Lord.

Let’s imagine then that this passage was talking about love. We think- God will love me more if I did this, or if I was like this. That’s not true. Just as the beginning and end of the Christian journey is the Lord Himself, His love is infinite and boundless. Our entirety is in Jesus. We are called to experience Him, to love Him, and to be with Him. Throughout. And His love for us is as unwavering and unfaltering as He Himself is!

In Our Lord’s life Jerusalem was the place where He reached the climax of His Father’s will upon the Cross, and unless we go with Jesus there, we will have no companionship with Him. Nothing ever discouraged Our Lord on His way to Jerusalem. He never hurried through certain villages where He was persecuted, or lingered in others where He was blessed. Neither gratitude nor ingratitude turned Our Lord one hair’s breadth away from His purpose to go up to Jerusalem.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39) 

“The disciple is not above his Master.” The same things will happen to us on our way to our Jerusalem. There will be the works of God manifested through us, people will get blessed, and one or two will show gratitude and the rest will show gross ingratitude, but nothing must deflect us from going up to our Jerusalem.

By virtue of placing our gaze on Jesus, we become a blessing. Not when we go to the left or to the right. Not when we try to fix the world or try to better ourselves. I know it sounds counterproductive. But all that Jesus every asks us to do is to follow Him. Abide in Him. Love Him. And when the gaze is sufficiently fixed on Jesus, He gives us directions about life. From the inside our. From His heart to ours, not vice versa. Never vice versa. 

“There they crucified Him.” That is what happened when Our Lord reached Jerusalem, and that happening is the gateway to our salvation. The saints do not end in crucifixion: by the Lord’s grace they end in glory. In the meantime our watchword is — I, too, go up to Jerusalem.

Go up to Jerusalem with Jesus. What’s your Jerusalem? Where is your gaze? Follow Jesus. No matter the cost and no matter the condition. Fix your eyes on Him. It is simultaneously the most powerful and most docile action for any believer. 

Featured image from here.

For my chicken grandma

A lovely blog reader, the Chicken grandma, nominated me for this challenge, and because she’s always so sweet to me, I certainly have to take this one up, althoug I usually not goot at blog challenges. 

Anyway, I have to respond to three questions which she posed and pass this on to other bloggers.

I’ll answer the questions, but about passing it up to other bloggers… *scratcheshead*


How do you find your inspiration for a blog post?

I generally find inspiration from reading the scriptures. Because my blog is primarily about God, this is tricky. When I’m not doing great on reading the bible, I am more pressed for content. But when I’m reading my bible consistently, the content literally is tugging at my heart, waiting for me to blog. However, not reading my bible consistently does not always mean that I’m not spending time with God. Often, it’s because I’ve been spending the days or weeks of listening to sermon, in prayer or focusing on worship. When this happens, some posts do come, but not as frequently as when I’m reading. Reading activates a special part of my brain and literally begs for a response.

When I do my creative posts such as poems or fiction, inspiration comes from the material I’m reading. When I’m reading a lot of poems, I’m inspired to write poems, and the same goes with fiction. Also, when I’m listening to a lot to music- on long bus or train rides, I’m also more inclined to write reflective and creative posts.

Basically, I garbage in and garbage out. My inspiration depends on the content I’m consuming!

What do you enjoy most about where you call home? Why?

Because I’m sitting on my bed in my college dorm room, I’ll call this place home. I’ve been out since 9am, and I only got back at 11pm. Long day, but that’s pretty much all my days this semester. This dorm room certainly didn’t feel like mine when I first moved in. Sure, it had my stuff, and was arranged as I liked it to be, but it just didn’t feel like mine. With the passage of time, I’ve begun to create memories here, and it’s felt more and more like mine over the past few weeks. I love how it’s quiet and peaceful, and how I function on my own schedule. No roommates to wake me up with loud singing, or to ask me to turn the lights off when they want to sleep. No need to leave my room when I want to pray or worship.

When I get back home after a long day in the outside world, this little haven welcomes me, and reminds me of the presence of God- because in here, I can pray as loudly and as long as I want.

Also, I can walk around without clothes, which I do a lot. :p

What is your favorite thing to do and with who (or is it whom)?

My favorite thing to do is spend time with myself. This is slightly ironic because I’m primarily extroverted and I love to be with people. However, because of my hobbies- reading, writing, sleeping – I have developed my introversion. I can stay in my room all day with my laptop, or with a good book. I talk to myself, make up stories, create characters, and sing in front of my mirror! I also love to pamper myself with a good bath, body massage, facial treatment, or I’ll just do my nails!

However, my all time favorite activity is spending time with God. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to just lay on my face and worship because everything is happening so fast around me. But because of how much my time with God means to me, I’m willing to sleep an hour later, or miss out on an activity to pray, read my bible, or listen to a sermon. Those moments stolen with the Lord literally mean everything to me!

That’s it! Enjoy the rest of your week.

Finally, Chicken grandma, thank you so, so much for all your love and support of my blog! I love your comments because they’re always so warm and they make me smile! May God bless you and give you joy and peace.

Featured image from here.


The Gift is not yours

You may be the most talented person to ever walk this planet. The trees bow when you strut by, the wind bellows your name, and nations rise to praise you. You may have accumulated fame, fortune and influence. You may have armies of nations at your command. You may have all the weapons needed for mass destruction in your arsenal.

Remember, the gift is not yours.

You may never have failed a class, always reining supreme as the most stellar student wherever you’ve been. You may grasp complicated subjects with the swiftness of light. You may be your teacher’s favorite student, the most well behaved in your school, or even the dream child.

Remember, the gift is not yours.

You may have been born into affluence and influence. Your parents may live in a mansion, drive the fanciest cars, and have servants at your beck and call. You may have a family name that has afforded you access to corridors of power and the most exclusive events.

Remember, the gift is not yours.

You may have come from grass to grace. Your gift may have you sitting among kings and queens. You may rouse a standing ovation everywhere you go. You may be the underdog who blew everyone and their mothers away.

Remember, the gift is not yours.

God has given to you because He wants you to be a blessing to those around you and in your generation. Don’t let it get to your head.

When David decided to take a census in 1 Chronicles 21, his action upset the Lord so much that He punished David by killing thousands of soldiers. You may ask what David wrong did in taking a census, but the problem was that David wanted to know his military strength and prowess.

He forgot, in that moment, that the gift was not his, but the Lord’s.

Remember in Daniel 4, when Nebuchadnezzar proclaimed himself the most powerful king in the world, admiring all that he had built and created. Even while the words were still in his mouth, He was disposed of his kingdom and essentially became an animal for seven years. He forgot that the gift was not his but the Lord’s.

Examine your heart today. Are you arrogant, boastful or proud? Are you taking God’s glory for yourself? Have you lost your bearing in life, amassing wealth without giving the Lord His tithes and offerings? 

Remember, remember, that the gift is not yours.

The gift is the Lord’s.

Featured image from here.

“Double?” “Double.”

Hello friends,

Thank you all so much for the kind and lovely wishes yesterday. And the prayers! I think that because I blog about God, people feel compelled to write me prayers lol. But I’m so, so grateful! It all meant a lot. :D 

Silly confession- I had been waiting to turn a new age, just so I could write one of those posts that go like- “22 Things I’ve learnt at 22,” or “21 Things every 22 year old needs to stop doing,” or “How to ace life at 22” You know what I mean?

Alas, the day is here and I have zero inspiration to write a post like that, mainly because I just laugh when I read them. I mean, it’s great if you’ve learnt all those things at 22, and it’s great that you take time to be introspective on your birthday, but really, do you feel any different today than you did one week ago? 

I guess that’s not the point of the writers though. It’s mostly an acknowledgement of growth and what better way to chronicle that journey than a potentially viral blog post?

Personally, I do not feel any different today. I’m just humbled by the outpouring of love from yesterday. If I do feel any different, then it’s also mostly because a few things have changed between last Wednesday and today. I now have a working class schedule, despite very late registration. I finally feel like I have my feet on the ground, and indeed, I have started running.

But if there’s one “deep” thought that I thought yesterday, it’s the importance of opening our hearts to love. Forgiving and letting go. Searching for, and finding the beauty in every single experience and situation. There’s so much joy around us, so much peace, so much growth. But we must open our hearts and let the beautiful things of life inspire us.

I really cannot tell you why I thought about this, I suppose it’s because of the numerous birthday messages that made me smile. I suppose it’s because of the love I felt from everywhere around the world.

I often forget that the internet truly has made the world a global village, and that when I sit in my dorm room and share a post, it can be viewed virtually anywhere in the world. That’s just as exciting as it is scary. I have all these people forming opinions about me and about the work that I do. I have all these people following my thought process and watching me walk confidently in the direction of my dreams. It’s a little terrifying, but so, so exciting.

Nonetheless, I think yesterday taught me that being my most authentic self, and walking in my lane, I certainly will get the attention I deserve. But whether or not it comes, keep it moving. Keep moving ahead. Don’t stop for any reason. Just keep moving.

Finally, I want money. I just wanna be so filthy rich that I never have to think about money ever again. There’s so much good to do in the world. The bible says in Ecclesiastes 10:19 that money answers all things, and in Proverbs 4:7 that wisdom is the principal thing.

Imagine the lethal combination of being a wise christian with a fat bank account. If you truly are wise, are a christian, and have a fat bank account, then you are an unstoppable force for all the good in this world.

That’s who I want to be.

That’s it friends. I’m back to school, and hopefully wiser, so expect all the good things that you associate with my blog!

God bless ya!

For Julia


Picture this: young college sophomore striving to produce news articles and stories at par with professionals who boasted decades of experience. Needless to say, my first few articles were horrible. I’d take an entire week to produce a one or two page article. All my documents came back covered with red ink for edits. Worse of all, my brain was still functioning on British english, so I wrote “colour,” “spelt” and “dustbin.” And seemed silly as heck!

Let’s backtrack a little.

Fall 2014.

In the fall of 2014, I took my first on-campus job. I’ve been at that position till date and I have a few things to say about my boss.

That semester seemed like everything was going pretty well. I was about to declare my International Relations and English majors, and was doing well on the prerequisite courses. I had friends and I was generally okay.

Somewhere down the line,I realized that I needed a personal source of income, so I decided to get an on campus job. The naira wasn’t doing very well and elections were coming up. Things could get worse. Some of my friends worked at the library, mail services, dining halls, and administrative offices.

I wanted a job which would require some brain effort and add to my qualifications and skills in some way. I was a beggar with a horse.

On the online portal, I found this position for a media relations intern at the office of communications. I read the job description and I fell in love with the position. I applied and submitted writing samples.

I was invited for an interview, which I took most seriously. Really though, the interview was just a conversation with my boss to be. We spoke about a lot of things; ebola, my heritage as a Nigerian, my potential majors, and my qualifications for the job. Sure, I liked to write, I was going to be studying english language after all. I had done well enough in my writing and literature classes, but that was about it.

The Sunday after the interview, I “sowed a seed” at church. I made a financial offering to God and asked Him to receive my offering by giving me the job.

On Wednesday, shortly after my Economic Development class in Gamble 116B, I received an email that I had been offered the job. Sure, it seemed like just an on-campus position writing for my college website, but to me, it was much more than that.

It was a prayer answered, and a promise fulfilled.

But here’s where it gets even more interesting.

I had the most amazing, patient, and encouraging boss I ever could have asked for.

My boss, Julia, would call me into her office, sit me down, and teach me how to write. This surely was not part of her job description as a boss. If anything, it was my responsibility to improve my writing and bring it to par with the job requirement, but Julia always reminded me that she had hired me for an “internship.” The stakes were the same but she also really wanted me to grow. She gave me notes, tips and recommended books.

With every article that came back with red squiggly lines came a ton of encouragement. It took years for her to learn how to write according to journalistic style, and it took kind bosses who believed in her, she often told me.

She knew that I could do it. I only had to be careful and patient with myself.

Often, I got frustrated because I believed that I knew how to write. At that stage in my life, I expected that I would be able to produce an excellent article or news story. Not that my writing was horrible per se, it just wasn’t the style that the job required. It was verbose and flowery. It was more English major than IR major. Haha. But Julia taught me how to tighten my sentences and maintain one voice/ thought throughout any given piece.

When last year, I started staying up pretty late to complete readings and prepare for classes, such that I was waking up late and showing up late to work, Julia remained patient.

She did once or twice remind me that I was an adult, who was expected to be responsible for my life choices and show professionalism at work. She kept me at my job nonetheless.

Last week when she told me that she was leaving to a higher position, I reminded her of all the kind things that she had done for me in the past, but in true Julia fashion, she was full of praise for me. She told me about how I had grown as a writer, how I always took feedback without grumbling, and how I always paid attention to her instructions.

I laughed with gratitude because at some point, my job literally was a prayer point. I was struggling to understand all the feedback and I felt really dumb. Like, was I slow to learn? Or hard of hearing? Or was I just living in denial about my basic grammar and composition skills.

I once heard that when looking for a job, especially early on in your career, look for a great boss, and not a great position. Although you may not be able to determine from an interview who a great boss will be, take the chance with the person who you believe will build you and improve your skills.

Julia did not babysit me and my writing. She gave me tough love a lot of the time, and boy am I grateful for that. She did not set the standard lower because I was a student or a young writer, she groomed me and helped me improve my skills. I have become more confident that tough times will pass, and that with hard work and tenacity, I truly can improve myself as a writer, a scholar, and even an employee.

This summer, my boss at my internship asked me to summarize an article. I asked for feedback after she read it. She told me that I am a very strong writer. Very strong writer. American colloquialisms. Strong writer. I know in my heart that it’s mostly thanks to Julia, who taught me to write and rewrite, edit and re-edit. Get to your point and stop dancing around it! Believe that you can, and will improve.

I’ll miss Julia immensely. But I sure know that I’ll never forget the one person who sat me down and taught me the art of writing. Especially journalistic writing.

If you’re curious, please check out Mount Holyoke College website, search my name, and you’ll see some of the articles I’ve written.

Featured image from giphy.

Lessons from Eavesdropping

Hello friends! It’s been a minute and I hope everyone is doing great!

I was flipping through my “inspiration book” (a notebook where I write interesting and inspiring things) this evening and I came across a few words of wisdom I had written down a while ago. I think I heard these words (and took notes) at my friend’s graduation in May. The words were pertinent especially as we’re moving into a new school year and several decisions and changes will occur in the next few months.

Here are the things I wrote down, with a few additions and explanations.

Things will not always make you happy, choose what feels most honest. The first time I heard something similar to this was during A’Levels. We were asking the dean of our school about passion and motivation. We wanted to know if it was okay to pursue a career that you were not passionate about, once you know that you’re headed towards your passion. Rather than thinking about life as pursuing something you were not passionate about, we should think about that time as laying a good foundation.

For instance, if you’re passionate about fashion designing, you may not be positioned to be a designer yet, but you may be in school learning mathematics and algebra. Much as you may not particularly like what you’re doing, remember that a solid business foundation is helpful. It doesn’t hurt if you know a little math in addition to your own passion.

In addition, we sometimes have to bend over backwards for others, we have to do things that will make us feel uncomfortable. Once you’re honest and authentic wherever you are, you will find your way to your own passion. Basically, maintain a good attitude even while you’re waiting for your optimum. 

Choose experiences over things. Save some money and rather than buying the latest material possessions, buy the latest “experience.” Go for a football game, go watch a play, take a class. Learn a new skill. Build your mind. Travel. Travel. Travel. Go to new places, explore new hobbies, try out different things. Take another route. Take a walk. Go out of your comfort zone. Build a new routine.

Stretch your heart to experience more love and light. Show up for your friends- it’s one of the easiest ways of showing someone you love them. Give your time for others, give your money for others, make space in your heart for those you come across. Make allowance for people’s faults. No, I don’t mean be stupid, but I mean that we can stretch to become more accommodating and loving towards others.

Acknowledge and accept joy. Find those things which make you happy and doggedly pursue them. The deepest joy that comes in life is from serving others. Give to people. Find ways of making others happy. Focus on God and on others. But be sure to steal moments for yourself. Get up before dawn and talk to God. Ask Him to reveal the deep mysteries of the world to you. Watch a sunset with a loved one. Go on a solo date.

Whatever makes you happy and fulfilled, do it. Even though you may not be poised exactly where you want for your dreams to take off, find joy in the things around you. Don’t be so focused on the future that the present becomes drab and unappealing. Maintain a joyful and joyous attitude. Despite the odds, remember that Jesus is on your team and He’s working all things out for your good!

Writing this has blessed me immensely, and I hope it blessed you too!

Dear broke college student

I remember a conversation I had with a friend last summer. She told me that she was tired of living on the line. She was tired of rationing every single penny she spent. That was the difference between having $2 ramen noodles for dinner and having a nice meal- even if it was home cooked with very few ingredients.

Last night a few friends and I had a good laugh about our not-so-glory days. One friend showed us bar soap she had got from the dollar store because she was too broke to go and shop in another place. All three of us had a good laugh about that.

Another friend shared another story about when her housing with her mother was terminated, and they had to live in an uncompleted building. And when she had to use the toilet, she had to use newspapers in the pit latrine. 

That too, was funny. Well, not really. But we were in a safe laugh-at-my-pain space.

Finally, another friend told us about her course registration woes- emailing professors and hopping from class to class because there was a hold on her student account. We also recounted a story our church pastor had told us about his days as a broke college student.

He would send his checks to the bank through the postal system, hoping that when they eventually arrived at the bank, some money would have been deposited into his account. When there was no money, he would tell the bank that there was an error, and that he was waiting to get confirmation from his parents back home. 

We had a good laugh about this, too.

There was fellowship and love in that room, which is why we each felt vulnerable enough to share unpleasant circumstances from our past. We each had experienced God’s love and kindness and we could laugh over things that really were not funny.

I just had a conversation with a friend, who was telling me about her financial burdens, taking care of her parents and two siblings-by-adjunct.

She told me that at this moment, she had $5 in her bank account. That, too made me laugh really hard because I remembered once when I had only $7 in my bank account and I basically hibernated at home to avoid any cost. I could not even afford to go outside and stand in the sunlight, so that I would get hungry but too broke to eat. 

We shared a generous laugh over that as well.

Don’t worry about me, I’m not at $7 broke anymore, but I do know that I am not at the financial abundance that I pray for. And I know that I will get there- to a place where money literally is an afterthought. When I no longer have to budget for anything because I know that I have an all sufficient God. Not even in the spiritual “I believe Jesus will do it” sort of way, but in the “I know that God will provide” sort of way. Because my bank account will be proof of that sufficiency.

Whenever I’m worried, I think about people in the bible who have come from nothing and made something out of their lives. I think about the God who never forsakes His children.

You may not even resonate with this post, but I want you to know that no matter what your need is- it may not be financial- God will do it for you!

Heck, you may be at a very happy place and recently come to your breakthrough. But for future hard times, remember that God will be with you. 

I want you to know that God has you in the palm of His hands. He has you as the first and last thought on His mind. Every.Single.Moment.

Hold on, hang in there. Have a good laugh and it will be alright.

What I do when I have doubts and questions.

Please forgive me. I know, I know that I haven’t been faithful, but in true blogger speak, I’ve been cooking some exciting stuff. Actually, not really. I’m just back to school and to my regular routine, which means more consistency- by God’s grace that is.

Here’s the final part of Muyiwa’s lovely guest post.

Here’s what to do when you’re struggling to believe. 

Ask Christians to pray for you: This isn’t a simple thing you say for formality: “please pray for me ohhhhh.”  No, truly explain what you are going through to some trusted believers and know that there are people INTERCEDING for you. The Bible says we should carry one another’s burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2). In your flesh, you are no match for Satan. He will crush you. BUT you must remember that Satan is no match for Jesus and the Bible says that Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world.

Therefore, with God on your side and you operating and living and praying under the righteousness of Jesus, Satan is no match for you. Let people pray for you even when you are too weak to pray for yourself. I promise you, that has helped me so much already. Afterall, the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much (James 5:16 KJV)

Remember times God has come through:  Spend time fixing your mind on the times you know God showed up on your behalf and on other people’s behalf. Remember His track record and against all odds, testify that it is True. No matter how few the examples may seem to come, hold onto at least one time when you know that God came through. When you remember that He came through then you can begin to believe that He is truly who He is and He can and will bring you out of this pit of unbelief.

LITERALLY, CLING TO THE WORD (JESUS AND THE BIBLE): I don’t know how to emphasize this one enough. I always tell people: “Cling to Jesus” and “Cling to the Word” but then the rubber hit the road where I was faced with whether I will cling or not. I had to FORCE myself to cling to the very Word that everything in my mind was doubting. When you are facing unbelief, you are in a very vulnerable position, but the best person to take our cue from is Jesus.

When Jesus was being tempted by Satan, he didn’t start arguing and reasoning with Satan: “You know Satan, it’s not really fair that you are tempting me” or “gosh, I am doing my best, must you really tempt me?” or “ugh go away.” Nope. My Bible doesn’t have that, does yours? He simply fought with the Word against all odds: “IT IS WRITTEN!” “IT IS WRITTEN!” “IT IS WRITTEN!”

We MUST cling to the Word whether we feel like it or not. The Bible says that God’s Word is forever fixed in Heaven (Psalm 119:89). Satan must bow in obedience to God’s Word. Open your Bible and ask the Holy Spirit to grant you the grace to believe even as you search for Truths in response to every lie Satan is putting in your mind.

One verse that was particularly helpful to me was “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17 ESV). I held onto that verse and so as I clung to the Word, I continually asked the Lord to increase my faith through the Word I heard and read.

Oh, and look to the Cross. Simply focus on the Jesus of the Bible. We can never go wrong fixing our eyes on Jesus. Whether we feel like it or not, fix our eyes on Him and believe that He is and believe against all odds that you will cling to Jesus no matter what. He said no one who trusts in Him will be disgraced (Psalm 25:3). In the fullness of time, He will come through.

We are in spiritual warfare whether we like it or not. Remaining in unbelief is a very dangerous place to be. The Christian race rests upon believing God and His Word and promises. Jesus was not able to do a lot of miracles in His hometown because of the people’s unbelief (Matthew 13:58). If you are currently facing unbelief, please let believers know. Satan hates the Light. Let there be people interceding for you.

Remember God’s track record even when it feels like fantasy, declare it to be true. No matter how long the season lasts, make up your mind that you will hold onto God’s word, remembering that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes out of the mouth of God (Deuteronomy 8:3). I empathize with you at this moment. No matter how long or how short this lasts, trust that God will cause everything to work together for the good of those who love the Lord and have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Allow this trial to refine and purify your faith which is more precious than gold which needs to be purified by fire (1Peter 1:7). Let Him speak to you even in suffering. He does not waste anything. If you are in a season of peace, now is the time to prepare: store up prayers and promises and make up your mind to cling to the Word-made-flesh, Jesus Christ and His written Word, the Bible.

If anyone is in Christ, He is more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37). We have overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11). It is well with you. May God see us through in Jesus Name, Amen.

Muyiwa Oyatogun

I literally was nodding along to everything in this post. It’s so apt! Muyiwa, please write for the blog more often. We all love your words. Please enter the comments section below to help me beg Muyiwa to write more often for us!

What do you do when you don’t believe?


“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” -1 John 5:4 ESV

What do you do when you simply don’t believe?

Sometimes, I will admit, I have unconsciously looked at non-believers as well as believers who are wrestling with their faith and thought to myself: “Ugh. Why can’t they simply believe?” I have looked down on them whether intentionally or intentionally.

Sometimes, I am quick to recognize my pride and judgment, other times I am not so quick to recognize it, even though the Bible says that people are not able to see the Glory of God as seen in the face of Jesus because their minds are blinded and being veiled by the god of this world, Satan. (2 Corinthians 4:4). I have had my times of doubt and unbelief, but soon after, things pretty much return to normal.

Last weekend, (August 20th, 2016), my brother got married. It was a sweet time of love, joy and fellowship with, honestly, my favorite people in this world. I was with my family, love was shared, laughter was dispersed, normal family banter and arguments, more laughter, food, and true love. Jesus was glorified. It was a week of pure gratitude and joy in the Holy Spirit. My faith was -to say the least- strengthened.

Sunday night, the night before I left my family to begin the fall semester, my mum and I stayed up real late at night just worshipping God through our testimony and conversation. We encouraged each other, iron sharpened iron, challenged each other and just felt the Power of the Holy Spirit in our midst. I truly believe God was glorified because wherever His Name is lifted up, He is glorified. I felt untouchable.

I woke up Monday morning to go to the airport. Waiting at the airport, I cracked open my Bible and began to question EVERY SINGLE THING I was reading. “Is this passage really true?” I thought. “Is God really real?” I thought the feelings would evaporate but as the week went on the doubts and unbelief only intensified.

So believer, what do you do when you don’t believe? I spent this week both in a place of joy of how the past weekend was so great and excited about the school year, but also in a place of struggling so bad to shake off unbelief: it certainly isn’t as easy as I thought and it humbled me to know that ANYONE can face doubts and unbelief at any time. But God has not left us alone. I want to share three things I have been holding onto in this season and God certainly is coming though.

This post is part of a series written by blog reader and friend, Muyiwa Oyatogun. I’m really curious to read the concluding part, but to prevent this post from being too long, we all shall finish the post with the concluding part tomorrow.

Read more from Muyiwa here.


This is a lovely follow up from yesterday’s post from My Utmost. Do enjoy.


Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once and ask Him to establish rest. Never allow anything to remain which is making the dis-peace.

Jealously guard your rest with the Lord. If there’s anything bothering your heart, especially at the time of prayer, check it before it wrecks you. Don’t take your rest with the Lord for granted, it is your divine right as a child of God!

Take every element of disintegration as something to wrestle against, and not to suffer. Say — “Lord, prove Thy consciousness in me,” and self-consciousness will go and He will be all in all. Beware of allowing self-consciousness to continue because by slow degrees it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is Satanic.

“Well, I am not understood; this is a thing they ought to apologize for; that is a point I really must have cleared up.” Leave others alone and ask the Lord to give you Christ-consciousness, and He will poise you until the completeness is absolute.

I like how yesterday’s devotional spoke about looking onto Christ as a remedy from focusing on our own selves, and this one speaks about Christ consciousness as a remedy for when we want to compare ourselves to others, or when they say things to us which are unkind. We must always remember that people will be people. Always. They may hurt your feelings and make you upset. They may belittle you and underestimate you. They may plot against you and betray you.

The key to your own happiness is in your hands. It depends on you to decide that against all odds, you will remain joyful. Do not give in to self-pity. Plug into the Lord, He is your one source of joy and peace. The world cannot give that to you!

The complete life is the life of a child. When I am consciously conscious, there is something wrong. It is the sick man who knows what health is. The child of God is not conscious of the will of God because he is the will of God. When there has been the slightest deviation from the will of God, we begin to ask — “What is Thy will?” A child of God never prays to be conscious that God answers prayer, he is so restfully certain that God always does answer prayer.

Hmmm. This makes me think. All the times when I’ve called out to Lord asking Him for His will have been born out of something less than perfect unity with the Lord. Whenever I feel fear and confusion creeping up in my spirit, there’s something wrong. I’m beginning to deviate from perfect communion with the Lord. When we’re walking with the Lord, it becomes redundant to ask Him for His opinion on things because we have such perfect oneness that our thoughts become His thoughts, and His thoughts, our thoughts.

This is the beauty of the relationship and oneness which the Lord desires to share with us. Oh Lord, please give us the grace to yield to you- wholly and fully!

If we try to overcome self-consciousness by any commonsense method, we will develop it tremendously. Jesus says, “Come unto Me and I will give you rest,” i.e., Christ-consciousness will take the place of self-consciousness. Wherever Jesus comes He establishes rest, the rest of the perfection of activity that is never conscious of itself.

I wish I had something as profound to say about this bit but that’s it really. Whenever we rely on Jesus, He brings all things under His control and He gives us the rest that we all so desperately need, whether we realize it or not.

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