Month: April 2015

Alex is dead, Stephanie would have been 21; Dear Alex and Stephanie, you are not just another statistic!

When I was 10 years old, I left home for the first time to enroll in a boarding school. While I felt absolutely blessed to have such a fantastic opportunity, I was terribly homesick. Three weeks into school when my mother came visiting, I cried the whole day until she left. At the end of my first term in school, 60 students from my school died in a plane crash. I have memories of some of those who died- Zikora, our school head boy, was very good friends with my “angel”, Piriye. (every incoming student was assigned a senior student, or an “angel” who was personally responsible for their wellbeing). Another deceased student, Immanuel Loolo, was a classmate who comforted me when I got homesick. One day he told me “Alheri, stop crying, you know times flies, and very soon you’ll be home”. Clearly he was speaking into his own life because he really is home now. I remember Obongawan’s lovely dance steps during our Xavier House independence day cultural dance performance. I remember how Obioma …

What now?

Well, well, well! Friends, about my last post, ALA results are out! However, I won’t indulge your curiosity because this blog isn’t about my brother, and his school applications 🙂 This blog is about this often confused young girl (or woman, whaaa?) throwing herself into the strong muscular arms of a God that’s bigger than the biggest, and wiser than the wisest. This is me making sense of my thoughts, and hoping that as I share my journey, the Holy Spirit will inspire someone to lend me (or gain?) some wisdom. I write words I wish someone will speak to me in the different situations I face. So if you want to be creepy, you can call my number and read my blog posts aloud to me. I kid, I kid. That said, please remember that if there are things you want me to write about/ questions you have about stuff, I’m definitely open to writing about those! Anyway, here is today’s topic, which is a follow up from last time’s. Picture this: God has …

Faith or Complacency?

For two years in between my secondary and university education, I attended A Levels in Johannesburg. I have absolutely lovely memories of SA, so I am particularly horrified by the ongoing Xenophobic attacks. It could have been my friends and I stabbed and mutilated during one of our trips to Clearwater Mall, Spar, or Gold Reef City. Notwithstanding, I loved my experience at ALA so much that I personally convinced my younger brother (who turned 17 a few weeks ago) to apply. I remember editing one particular essay question that asked him to imagine a moment in his future. In my brother’s essay, he had obtained a degree in Chemical Engineering from a top American University and was about to begin work with a pan-African team to revitalize hydro electric power generation. In the essay, he (my brother) was excited to speak with our Grandma. She was a beneficiary of this scheme and was running a small business in the village that had grown tremendously because of the near constant power supply. Unfortunately, my grandmother died a few …

All is well that ends well!

Anyway, here are four things I learnt from my not-so-little episode (which I shared yesterday) especially after God clearly told me to shut my little trashy mouth because He is God. And I am just Alheri. God > Alheri. Forever has been. Is. Forever will be. Grace is NEVER earned– God already loves us to infinity- nothing can make Him love us more or less than He already does. Infinity no upper or lower boundaries, it is the be all and end of all. Similarly, we cannot earn the grace of God by what we do (or do not do). When we pray for people, or do good things for them, we are not to rely on them for appreciation. We cannot wait upon people for our motivation. We do things because God says we should, and not to win the admiration or praise of others. We cannot earn the respect of others by what we do for them. Promotion comes not from the east of the west, but from the Lord. It’s not that easy, I’m the biggest culprit. But our kindness should come …

…and who do you think you are?

Once upon a time, something happened. And I got upset. I got upset because I felt like I tried so hard and do all I could to serve God and to do His will (although I often fail terribly). So why, I thought, did all that happen to me? Why didn’t He warn me earlier, why did He watch me fall into the trap again? It was the same story of someone doing something, or I doing something, falling short, then feeling bad, getting upset, and finally asking “Oh Lord, why didn’t you warn me ahead of time? Why did you not also prevent me from this? Why do you not help me?” But that day, just as I was about to launch a big, annoying rant about how God is good to other people and bla bla bla, something in my heart told me to shut my mouth. A little detour. I find it very difficult sharing the struggles I face in my spiritual life, as I often fail in extremely embarrassing and shameful ways. But it always occurs to me that my mistake could be …

Don’t take it Personal, it’s not about you!

Last summer, I had my first working experience ever. I was almost as nervous as I was excited. However, I could not have been more blessed by God. Not only did the parents of a very good friend of mine graciously welcome me to their home, I worked with people who I believe were divinely placed in my life. On my last day at the internship, the associates had a little farewell gathering for the other intern and I. They associates had very lovely words of appreciation and encouragement for me, and there were also tears in abundance. I hear even my boss shed a few tears as well. Even if I doubted, that day I realized that it was purely the Lord who graced with that experience. I really received a lot of love and wisdom at my internship. The Lord really showed me that it pays to work according to His plans because I had prayed against interning in Lagos as my family lives in Abuja. Either way, I still don’t know how I …

Testimony- The rain does not stop falling just because the calabash is full!

My march update is finally here. It’s pathetic that I’m posting this so late into the new month, perhaps my April update should be called Struggle since I struggle so much with discipline and timeliness. I need God because I promise I’ve tried everything- I’ve got to the end of me, but clearly, there’s nothing I can do. (well, naturally) Anyway, today is a happy day because of the things that the Lord has done. If you remember, when I first started blogging I said it was because when I was asking God to gift me with a new laptop, I promised Him that I would use it to His glory. Well, last month, the Lord gave me the laptop of my dreams. He made the finances available not just for me to purchase a brand new laptop for myself, He also blessed me so much that together with a friend of mine, I was able to bless another friend with a brand new laptop of her own. In addition to the two laptops, God also blessed me with …

Mushy conversations, just because!

Hey babe, This love we feel for each other has to be the realest deal. This love has me in tears in front of the entire church congregation. This love wakes me up at odd hours to spend time with you. This love makes me want to share my every moment with you. Thing is, my love is just a minute, imperfect expression of the love that drove you to Calvary. Do you remember that day we fought? That day when I was calling on you so we could have our quiet time but you were no where to be found? That day when I almost didn’t have the will to pray and when I finally mustered the strength, I felt like I was hitting a brick wall. And then we had one of our most candid conversations ever. I remember telling you in a stubborn, matter-of-fact way that even if you chose to change tomorrow and you abandoned me, and I never “felt” your presence, I will never let you go. I remember telling you …