I don’t feel like blogging today. I feel sick and I’m very tired. The weather outside is horrible with this indecisive rain. Between noon and 5pm, I’ve felt increasingly weaker and my nose is blocked and I feel like a flu is coming. I’ll go eat oranges at dinner and hopefully get something warm for the flu. I hope I’m not sick. I have a trip in two days and that, too, will be exhausting.
When I feel like this, I try to remind myself of the love of God. My devotional this morning was focused on developing great faith. According to the devotional, there are only two instances in the bible where Jesus explicitly praises people for having great faith in God. The first one was the Centurion, who asked Jesus to speak the word and his servant would be healed. The second one was the Canaanite woman, who asked to eat the figurative crumbs that fell from Jesus’ table.
Both of them were foreigners.
I spent a great deal of time thinking about the passage. It’s incredibly easy to fall into the slippery slope of complacency in Christian life and to be strung along by the lulls of daily life. I certainly have felt that way.
I try to remind myself that God’s love compels. Once I keep my eyes on God and His love, my relationship with Him will be vibrant and exciting. It may not seem that way to anyone else, it may not even be evident to me, but after that season passes and I look over at my life, I’ll see the difference.
Thinking about who I was one year ago, especially in my relationship with God, I can see the growth. I haven’t become a different person, but I have grown into a better person. What does that even mean? Who is a better person? How can you tell when you’ve become a better person?
Whatever the case is, I now work harder, I’m more patient, and I talk less. Those three are good markers for the time being. I didn’t even want to write this blog post but because I post on Tuesdays unless under extraordinary circumstances, I have sat here and produced something that hopefully has made an impact on you.
There’s something going around my school. I’m seated in the library and people are sneezing and coughing all around me. Do I go to my room or do I stay put?
I have work to get done, I have a meeting this afternoon. I don’t know what to do.
Oh well, you can check back tomorrow or some other time later to see if I actually left or stayed.
This blog post has mostly been from my stream of consciousness. I can’t decide if that’s a good or a bad thing. I guess some days are like this.