Last night I had an epiphany. As I journaled just before bed, I thought about the coming months and the change they will bring. I’ll finish university and go into the real world to become an actual real adult. Yeah, I’m 22, but I still feel 17. I mean, not really, but yeah. I’m still painfully young and painfully naive and I still have a lot to learn about caring for myself, loving others, growing what I have, and living life as God wants me to.
Sometimes, it’s overwhelming to think about all that’s yet to come. But on most days, it’s exciting. As I stood in church worshipping this morning, I had one of those exciting moments. We sang Great is Thy Faithfulness, and on the line “morning by morning new mercies I see,” I thought about how I went to bed last night, and despite being so tired this morning, He pulled me out of my bed and brought me into His presence. And He’s still the same God I went to bed knowing. He remains the loving, caring, and ever present God that I know.
Isn’t it beautiful?
Last night I thought about all the many changes that will come my way and I also thought about the growth and testimonies that will come. But honestly, my heart is not eager for all the razzmatazz, as much as that is exciting. I love testimonies, I love miracles, signs and wonders. But more than that, I want to see my spiritual life grow. I want to go deeper into God. I want revelation. I want knowledge of God and His power. I want intimacy with the Holy Spirit.
I’ve often thought that those only come through trials and tests. In January, I read a book where a preacher shared a testimony of coming through a trying time with a deeper knowledge of God, and I somehow imagined that to be the only way to come into new knowledge of God.
Here’s why I was wrong: while trials and tribulation can be a vehicle to bring us closer to God, those are not what God wants for us perpetually. There will be mundane days, there will be boring days, and there will be pretty uneventful times. But when we have a fresh revelation of God and His love and grace and mercy every day, we never feel stuck in life.
Because God is a good God, He also brings us revelation in the middle of a basic day.
The true test of our faith is not from the experience on the mountain and in the valley, it is in the experience on the plains. Our growth comes in how we handle the times when we don’t think that anything phenomenal is taking place.
So, last night, as I sat down on my bed wondering what God is teaching me in this season of my life, I was reminded that growth is less about what’s going on around me and what I can see, but it is more about what I do in the seemingly mundane periods of my life.
To be honest, my final semester in undergrad is everything but mundane. Yet it carries the expectation that graduation will come with so many emotions- both good and bad. And lately, I’ve been so focused on what’s to come that I’ve lost a bit of focus on the now. I’ve been checking the prices of houses and beds and cutlery, and I’ve failed to spend adequate time working on my senior thesis and term papers.
This attitude has transferred into my spiritual life. Rather than ask: Lord how can I gain more revelation and knowledge of you today, I’ve been wondering that He has in store for my relationship with Him when I’ll graduate.
I thank God for arresting me. I pray I remain faithful in the today, rather than worry about the tomorrow.
Have a wonderful week ahead guys, don’t be like me. The whole point of sharing this is so that you can learn from me and not make my mistakes haha!