christianity
Comments 8

Homesick already

The past few days have been a whirlwind of emotions.

One week ago today, I was freaking out about a paper I had to write for my sociology seminar. In one night, I wrote a 20-page paper. God is real! That was also my final undergraduate paper.

On Monday I did my thesis defense. I’m graduating with honors.

I’ve spent the better part of Monday (after the defense), Tuesday, and Wednesday talking with friends, sleeping, and being hungry lol (I’ve actually been too lazy to go get food)

Today I woke up at 9:30am and came to my office. I guess sitting and lazing around was messing with my mind, so I told my boss I was bored and I wanted to work. Actually I just want some money haha. But as I take my final rounds around my college campus, it’s finally dawning on me that I’m graduating from college. In 10 days, I will no longer be a student of my college and I’ll officially have a degree. In International Relations and English. The best decision I ever made here!

Last night I did a lot of thinking. I thought about my performance in school so far, and especially how I wish I performed better in my first year and my sophomore year. Usually I wish and wish that I could go back in time and be serious with school from the onset. But for the first time, last night, I felt immense gratitude at even completing school and pulling through those years of extreme sadness.

I don’t know, I don’t know, but coming to the end of this phase of my life, there’s one overwhelming feeling and it’s gratitude. I didn’t mean to write about gratitude in this blog post, but I guess that’s what’s on my mind.

I’ll miss my college campus. I’ll miss the quiet serenity and near boredom of this place. Nestled among the hills, here lies a paradise where minds are challenged and dreams are made. I am graduating with honors. Allow me take that in. I usually performed so badly in secondary school, I honestly believed I was a dunce. Lol. So I spent most of my time in the school chapel, because I was chapel prefect, and it was the one place where I could forget my shameful academic performance. But today, merely seven years later, I am graduating from university with honors. Lol. Today’s failures will be tomorrow’s successes.

I’m so grateful for my experience here. All the lows, all the highs, all the failure, all the disappointment, the friends, the professors, the experience. The intimacy with God I’ve gained!

I remember dark moments when I was stuck while completing my thesis. I sat on my bed bargaining with God.

“Lord, just as you made a way for the Israelites at the Red Sea, please help my stories make sense. I’m stuck here. Please dissect this story/ essay and give me a way out,” I would say, consumed with desperation.

God always made a way.

I wish I had a recording of my thesis defense because it was a glorious experience. I had three of my favorite professors discuss my work like it was magic. My english professor called my writing lyrical and rhythmical. I had to confess to them that the musicality and beauty they saw in the writing wasn’t at all my doing. I just sat down and wrote and somehow, God did the magic.

I don’t know why I’m writing all this because also this morning, it dawned on me that it’s 10 days to my graduation and I don’t yet have a job. I freaked out a little bit.

But I find peace in knowing that I’ve done all that’s there to be done. I’ve done my part, physically. All I can do now is sit and pray and wait. Really, sit and wait.

Psalm 37:7 is my word for the season:

Be still before the Lord

   and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when people succeed in their ways,

   when they carry out their wicked schemes.”

I guess this is the part of the blog where I encourage someone, where I tell you that all will be well, that you will succeed. That you are smart and beautiful and courageous and strong.

But here’s what I’ll leave with you: God will never ever fail. He is our rock. Stand on Him, believe Him, call upon Him. He never, ever fails.

See y’all tomorrow for another amazing testimony!


Featured image from here.

This entry was posted in: christianity

by

Hey, my name is Alheri and I'm obsessed with Jesus. This blog is me keeping my promise to Him for answering a prayer. Purple is my favorite color and my favorite scripture is Jeremiah 32:27 which says "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there anything too hard for me?" (KJV) You can contact me at msalheri@gmail.com

8 Comments

  1. Egor F Egbe says

    HOME WELCOME
    And so it is that upon the appointed time, the season will cease.
    The local cotton tree in the mangrove forest would grow so tall you would think it would continue. Especially as children, it was always our reference frame. It could be sighted from very far off. But it was always late in blossoming. Most flowering trees and shrubs will start to wither whilst it is just budding. So its own time to blossom was strategic – always coinciding with the long holidays when it used to bracket Christmas season. And it had a very effective seed dispersal system.

    Being so tall against others in the forest it enjoyed unperturbed access to the dry, harmattan wind of December. Its ready fruits and seeds could be thrown very many miles away from its location. And as we crossed the numerous streams and small rivers to get to our parents’ farms, we would struggle to pick up the dispersed fruits from the local forest cotton tree. But where is the tree itself? Oftentimes we may not even sight the tree but we see the seeds and flowers having been thrown to distant far by the free flowing wind. If you were fortunate to have one of the trees within your father’s farm vicinity, you would gather and gather the beautiful flowers and seeds all day. It was such fun.

    And as soon as the rain starts coming in late February and early March, the beautiful flowering and seeding of the giant tree fizzles out so fast we would wonder the omen it portends. By April the thought of the tree and its flowers and seeds is all over. The season has changed!

    And so it is with the life of every creature. Safe you are not busy. But if you are busy a bit, you see the changes in you. You see the changes in the environment. And when you reminiscent over every thing, ah, you feel you might be better placed to solve and overcome some challenges faced much earlier easier. But it is late.

    And that is why we must not continually blab on the past experiences and encounters. Maybe then the environment was not ripe. Maybe we were too young. Or too busy. Or too hesitant, afraid, myopic, disobedient, intolerant, disloyal, too playful, careless, short, naive, poor, uninformed, unaware. And so what? We must move on.

    On completion of an assignment, I have seen many parents joining their wards to even cry. Especially on wedding day and the days that follow when it is time to leave the comfort zone and allure of your parents to sometimes an unknown destination.

    Our best bet? To be in the imaginary sight of God the all mighty, who like in Psalm 23, 1 to 6, has so prepared for me I shall not want.

    Congratulations, One, in advance. It is not over until it is over!

    Warm parental welcome awaits you back home any day any time, with or without any humanly, physical accomplishment. Remaining in God is paramount.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi alheri, it’s crazy how i relate so much to this piece, particularly the secondary school bit as you may know i was extraordinarily bad.My final year has placed a lot of burden on me and i’m honestly so scared but i’ll remember this in my times of need as graduation comes closer, Thank you.

    Like

    • Please remember it okay? And no one was extraordinarily bad! You were just on your way to greatness, change your perspective and watch your life change. I’m praying with you and I can’t wait to hear your amazing, amazing testimony!

      Like

Your turn! What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s