I’m incredibly horrible at saying goodbye. When the moment to move forward comes, I have this lump in my throat, and it always seems like the tears are lurking somewhere behind my eyes. Today, I took one of my closest friends to the bus station for her to catch a bus back home. Yeah, I’m being vague with where the “home” is, because we’re all in such a transient phase of our lives that it’s difficult to tell where our homes actually are. It’s this interesting phase between officially still living with your parents, so their house is home, but you’re also done with college, so we’re now officially considered adults.
Anyway, just before she left, we prayed. While I was busy committing this girl to God’s hands, she began to cry. It took everything in me to not cry as well. What use would it have been? I was trying to be strong, despite the very drastic change that will come from seeing each other daily for most of college, and now not knowing when next we’ll spend time together.
Transitions are difficult, but they also foster incredible growth. I say this thinking about myself, as I’ll begin a new work position in a country and continent I’ve never visited in a few week’s time. It won’t be like college, where I had a few friends already before I arrived. I’m moving a new place. I don’t really know anyone there, I only have my trust in the God who created the universe and everything in it. I trust that God will take me where I need to be and provide a new community to add to the friends and family members I already have.
One prayer I say very often is that God will enlarge my heart. I want to be love and compassion personified. I want people to see me and gravitate towards a sweet spirit, where they can lay their heads and be gently redirected to Jesus Christ. I want to live and show Jesus in everything I do.
I pray that moving to a new country will somehow enable me to enlarge my heart and make room for more. To give more of myself to people, to serve God more, to love Him more, and to love myself more.
This is my short reflection for today. Other than that, I’ve been doing very well. Incredibly well, actually. I was in the post grad funk for just a few short weeks, but now I’ve accepted the fact that I will have a full time job and a completely new routine from anything I’ve ever known in my life. I don’t know exactly where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing this time next year, except that I hope I still have and do enjoy my new job haha. But one thing I’m certain of is the fact that God is good and His love endures forever.
He’s carried me from my home country to four years in the U.S., where I’ve experienced incredible growth and made amazing friends, like the one who was weeping like a baby at the bus station this morning haha. As I too will move on very soon, He’ll carry me and give me new friends and a community of people who will love Him and love me as well.
I hope you’re all doing well. ❤